Goodbye August, Hello September!

The honest truth is that I feel guilty admitting this, but I am so glad that August is over.

I'm just so much lighter now that September is here. I'm no longer focused on every detail of two years ago. And oh God, two years. But once August is over I can begin to think about over things. I can pour myself into my weight loss goals, catch up on all the household cleaning that I've neglected over the last month, rearrange the living room furniture, watch my shows on tv, work on my crochet blanket that I put off, and stay up late reading. Ok...so when you lay it all out like that, maybe I am trying to distract myself.

I hadn't fully realized how far I had let myself sink until we were moving furniture this afternoon. Seeing how filthy our living room had gotten, I can't even tell you how much cereal I found behind and under the couch. I was appalled. I feel like every August my life just gets put on hold while I barely function.

You know what? That's ok. It's ok to allow myself to grieve. So what if the house gets messy? As long as Meghan is taken care of, that's all that matters right? Even so, it does feel good to get back on track. Every bit of dust I wipe away feels cleansing. Workout pulses new energy and life into my blood. It feels good.

I just wish a little bit of happiness didn't make me feel so rottenly guilty.