Is this hope?

I've talked about having Fibromyalgia in the past, I was diagnosed at 16 so it's not like it's news. It's also no secret that having a chronic pain condition sucks...big time.

Since I was 13 or so, I've had difficulty sleeping. The doctors just always said it was because of the Fibro and fed me more sleeping pills, pain pills, anti-depressants and herbal remedy pills. Somewhere around that same time, I had a chiropractor do x-rays who announced that my rib cage was underdeveloped. My primary said there wasn't anything to do about it and that was the end of it. On top of my sleep troubles I developed asthma, got sick easily (having a bad case of mono had me out of school for almost 8 weeks in the 6th grade), and battles of bronchitis often sent me to the hospital gasping for breath.

The doctors just always gave me pills and sent me on my way, never questioning, never searching for answers.


Finally last year I got a new Rheumatologist who actually listened. After two different sleeping pills didn't work, but rather made me even more tired during the day, he sent me off for a sleep study.

I was terrified. I honestly had panic attacks imagining the tech cutting me up into little pieces in my sleep or them experimenting on my during the night. It was awful leading up to it. Luckily, I got a guy who made me feel comfortable and spent a fair amount of time discussing books with me (always an easy way to get on my good side).

The morning after, the Pulmonary doctor handling my study told me everything was normal aside from taking a prolonged amount of time to go to sleep, waking several times through the night and a lot of arousals. But I was completely normal! Right, because that's all very normal!

It wasn't until several weeks later that I learned that he had reread my report and changed his mind. Back to the lab I went for another book discussion with the sleep lab tech. This time my report said I was not normal but actually had a problem.

Hypopnea or hypoventilation, basically I don't breathe enough. And because my oxygen levels drop it wakes my body up saying "HEY! We're not getting enough air here!"

Interestingly, the effects of having a disorder like this are awfully similar to those of Fibromyalgia. Lack of oxygen of course causes pain, fatigue, joint pain, headaches, depression, weight gain etc.

So...I am now on a CPAP machine to help me breathe at night. And let me tell you, it is WONDERFUL! Sure it also really sucks and finding a comfortable mask has been awful, but breathing is AMAZING!

My body has a lot of catching up to do, it needs real sleep. But I'm already noticing better energy, less pain, an improved mood...the list is endless. I am so determined to make this work! Did you know that 60% of CPAP patients fail at therapy? Many cannot tolerate having this foreign thing strapped to their faces. And it's so much more than just putting a mask on. It's hard to find the right mask, to find a good support team, to adjust to sleeping in a way you're not used to, to the noise, to the aches and pains of starting treatment...gosh and I'm only a week in! But I'm determined to stick with it.

And then I wonder...with the symptoms being so similar...how much will my life improve? What if I don't even have Fibromyalgia? Or if I do, will my symptoms lessen by getting real sleep and learning to breathe? Is this what hope is like?