I do what I'm told. I listen to rants and raves. I listen to people's worries about others. I listen to complaints about my lack of interest. I do, I listen, I obey. I perform just the way I'm expected. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Nothing compares to losing my son. But the pain just keeps getting piled on. I feel like nothing I do is good enough. I try so hard to please other people but it's never, ever enough. I don't choose how to life my live, what to do each day. It's chosen for me. I despise complaining, I hate whining. But seriously, I hate my life right now. I love my family, but damn if it's not hard to see the good right now.
Sometimes I just feel like screaming, "What about me? What about what I want? What I think? How I feel?"
What more can a person take?
1 comments:
im so sorry that its this way i wish i had all the magic so i could help you through all of this i wish i was able to be there right next to you to make sure you are taken care of i love you so much and as much as i am greiving i wish i could share your exact pain so that i would know exactly how to act and how to understand. i know you have talked to people who have lost childern and i know they say it will get better but we all question does it really? i wish i was there to hold you to make my self believe that it will help both of us but who knows if it will. i love you so very much and i want to be able to help in any little way i can. its so hard for me not to be there right now.
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