For Me

I've spent my entire life caring for other people and basically being a "yes" girl. Need a favor? Sure. Don't care how I feel? Well that's okay, I understand. I don't do confrontation. I don't say no, I'm not even sure I know how. You could stand here and insult me and I'll probably just shrug it off...at least while you're looking.

But you know what? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of putting others first and myself last.

Now before you go thinking that this is just another oh-poor-pitiful-me post, hang with me for a minute here.

I'm ready to look out for myself. I want to be happy. I don't know when I'll get there, but I know that by letting other people control my life the only person who is going to reach happiness is them.

I'm searching for what makes me happy. I'm trying new things. Starting new hobbies, exploring my interests and spending time just simply doing what I want to do for a change.

* I'm crocheting. I started working on a blanket. I call it my Max blanket. I chose a deep red because red is his favorite color. It's going to take a long time to actually finish, especially since I'm only doing a little at a time, but I'm enjoying it. When it's finished, I can wrap it around myself and think of my little boy. I'm still learning how and it's not perfect, but it's just for me.

* I'm doing little writing exercises. It's pretty much just fiction, short stories or stories that don't go anywhere. It's fun. I'm not an author but I love being creative.

* I'm playing my video games. Yes I am a geek and you know what? I don't care! Mostly I play my Wii games. My favorites being Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, New Super Mario Brothers. I also like playing Little Big Planet on the PS3. It's fun and keeps me busy.

* I'm trying to exercise daily. Today, we went out and walked for about 30 minutes. The weather was nice and it was refreshing to be out in the sun! I just have to be a little careful as I'm very sensitive to the sun. I also have the Wii Fit board and like to do the exercises on that. I like Walk It Out and Gold's Gym Dance Workout. I flail about and look like an idiot, but it keeps me active and I have a good time.

* I'm not really watching much that I like on tv right now, but I will admit that I am a bit of a Gleek. Though the Britney Spears episode was awesomely bad in my opinion. I just missed the plot line. Oh, I do have to say that I liked seeing some of the other characters (Britney and Santana) getting a little more air time.

* I still love to read, especially on my Barnes and Noble Nook. Robert got it for me the first week of August and it's a pretty cool gadget. Have I mentioned that I love gadgets? Well I do. I even enjoy reading articles about gadgets, even the ones that I don't need or can't afford.

* I'm blogging...though I'm not keeping up too well with that huh?

* Robert and I are going out more. We went to an art fair last weekend. Coming up soon, we have Pioneer Days and the Friends of the Library Book sale on our calender.

* And lastly....I love playing with my Meghan Joy!

I've been blessed with a few really good friends. Some new, some old, some that have reentered my life. I don't know where I'd be without them. You know who you are and if you don't, you should! Thank you for sending me messages even when I don't respond, encouraging me and just being there when I need you.

Anyway, I'm trying to do things for me.